All Mixed Up

I am torn. I want to be a good parent, to provide discipline and limits for my son, let him know there are things he shouldn't do, not give in to tantrums and whining. But I also want him to be happy, to ALWAYS be happy. The following events take place just about every night, around dinnertime:

Usually, Tyler begins whining, and the whines get louder as he notices I've started to prepare dinner. If Mike is at class or isn't around, Tyler follows me around the kitchen, not understanding why he can't have dinner NOW. He usually squeezes his way between me and the counter, and looks up, wanting me to pick him up.

"No, Tyler, I can't hold you AND cut chicken for your dinner at the same time." Now, Tyler throws himself on the kitchen floor and wails. No toy will appease him. I tell him he needs to be patient while Mommy makes his dinner. Nope, didn't work either. I ask him to get in his high chair to buy some time (he can't do it by himself, but he tries a couple of times before he grunts and motions for me to help him). By now, I've gotten most of his food ready and can actually give him some. When Tyler is strapped in and eating, he becomes the angel we all know.

He doesn't throw these tantrums very often. We can pretty much predict when he will throw one. Usually around dinnertime, when something is taken away from him (like our cell phones), and when he has to sit still and doesn't want to (like diaper changes).

Other than that we have moments like watching him try to climb onto the couch, or when he runs up to us and gives us a hug, blowing kisses, and my favorite...actually kissing us! Tyler was outside with us on Sunday, as we were doing some yardwork. I was kneeling and weeding with a bucket next to me (for throwing the weeds into), when Tyler sidled up between the bucket and me, leaned over and gave me the sweetest kiss on the cheek! It was totally his own action, he didn't copy anyone...he just did it! I don't know if he knows exactly what he's doing, or what it means, but that moment (and others like it) definitely get me through the tantrum events.

I know that Mike lives for those moments, too. He loves that Tyler runs up to him and gives him hugs when he comes home from work or class. I love watching both of their faces light up when they see each other at the end of the day. I like to think that we are making connections with Tyler, that even though we give him limits and tell him "No", he knows that he is number one in our world and we really would do anything for him.

A kiss and a hug from that little person would get me through anything. The little things really DO mean the most.