"I love you, Mommy."

Last night, after I gave Tyler a bath, I was trying to wrangle him so that I could get him dressed in his PJs. I sat on the floor in his room and held out his underwear for him to step into, exasperatedly asking him to put it on. He wrapped his arms around my neck and picked up one foot at a time so that I could stick his feet in his underwear. As we were doing this, Tyler said, “I’m hugging you, Mommy.”

Me: I know. Thank you.

Tyler: I love you, Mommy.

Me: (suddenly softening up, grabbing up my son and cuddling him in my lap…and not feeling so exasperated anymore) Ohhh, Tyler! I love you, too!

Tyler: I wish we could go to a school for grown-ups AND kids so that we could be together all day.

Me: I do, too. I wish I could spend all day with you.

These are bittersweet times, hearing Tyler say “I love you” in his sweet voice, so clear and sure, and knowing that all he wants is to be with me and Mike are things that I dreamed about while I was holding him when he was a baby. As a new mom, I loved him so HARD! I remember holding him as an infant and wishing I could hug him enough to show him how much I loved him, how I wanted him to always fall asleep while I or Mike was holding him, so his last moments of each day were spent in one of our arms. And I remember feeling like it would be FOREVER until Tyler would ever be able to say “I love you.” So, now he says it, and he says it often, which I love, but I know the times that I spent during his infancy wishing that he would get older so that he could finally verbally affirm his love are times that I should have enjoyed more. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy them! But, now that I know that the babyhood is such a short time in our children’s lives, and I know that our children KNOW we love them and that they DO reciprocate in their own way (by their first smiles at us, by not wanting us to leave them, etc.), I have enjoyed being Mason’s mommy in a more complete way. I’m sure the confidence that I’ve been through it before allows me to relax, but I’m also in no hurry for Mason’s babyhood to pass by. I look at his face as he gives me a toothless smile and try to fix that picture in my mind, so that I can go back to it whenever I choose.

Tyler does give great hugs, though. And he’s a strong little guy, so he’s strong enough to handle the hugs we give back!